We carry pain from the past into our present experience. That pain can make forgiving someone who has wronged us or someone we love seem virtually impossible. And by our own power, it is impossible. When I have experienced true forgiveness from someone I have wronged, it clearly flows out of their own deep experience of having been forgiven. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 When the the Lord whispers "you are forgiven" in our ears, and as we (by His power) receive that forgiveness, our focus shifts to Him. Then, when someone wrongs us, that pain does not distract us(for long) from our vision of the Lord.  The Spirit is willing and forgiving. When we rely on Him who forgives, the experience of forgiveness is brought and experienced through Him. Matthew 26:41

It's confusing and difficult to separate pain and forgiveness, but we must. Zechariah 4:6 They can and do exist side by side(i.e. I am hurting, but I forgive you) as does our human nature with the Holy Spirit within us. 1 Corinthians 6:17

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