Normally resignation is known to be formally giving up one’s office or position. But there is a much deeper meaning to this term that is detrimental to emotional and spiritual life.  Oftentimes the admittance of defeat with a defeatist attitude is the catalyst of this type of self destruction called resignation.

The attitude can start with some sort of protest based on the realization of a loss, even a loss from the past such as during one's childhood which could have been chaotic or traumatizing.  This realization can lead to a resignation which goes far deeper than admitting or grieving because the view goes from recognizing a loss into seeing oneself as the loss.  This is not losing oneself in the sense of our Lord increasing as we decrease, rather, a loss of who we are and Whose we are.

Any conclusion or decision regarding our losses can either remove us from the people and things we enjoy, or fully engage us.  Consider a man who has lost his wife earlier than expected.  His grief is so heavy that he vows to never allow himself to fall in love with another person.  Slowly his harsh expectations of himself and committments or vows made because of this  lead to a corrosive attitude that  shadows the freedom to fall in love again.  We must remember that out of our loss we can either experience or deny to experience.  Any expectation at these vulnerable crossroads must be met with careful skepticism and reevaluation of committments or vows made at earlier times in our life as we surround ourselves with the tender love from community or friends.

The irony regarding resignation of self is that it creates a gratifying sense of control in uncontrollable and chaotic circumstances that often resemble former ones.  The thought process is as follows: If I remove myself from any possibility to lose, then I will not lose.  The unfortunate thing however is that this false sense of control is really weakness overcoming oneself when the goal was overcoming weakness.  Think of one who drinks too much. The alcohol has a feeling of strength and invincibility, but really it slows down and distorts good judgement.

From what cup do you drink?  Out of the one that blurs and weakens the vision you have of yourself and of others? The one that staggers your every move so much that it feels that you are to remain immovable? The one that makes you someone you swore you would never be? 

Or, do you drink of the One that gives us eyes to see and ears to hear that frees us into freedom and invites us to be ourselves simply because we are loved?

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