If I look for but find no joy in what I'm doing, then my view of what I'm doing changes into a view of drudgery. In fact, as time goes on I must resort to finding pleasure in whatever form outside of what I'm doing as a substitute for the joy that is missing inside. This view can only be replaced by knowledge that joy is experiencially unfolded in four stages that keep occuring and reocurring as we encounter more and more people.. The last three stages are described with some examples in what Scripture calls the second mile. Matthew 5:38-48 This second mile is what we view as drudgery and yet that's where the joy and view of the Lord and His works unfold through Spirit led men and women. The first stage is being served by someone who is led to serve you. That experience gives a taste of what this new view of joy will begin to look and feel like in a relationship. Oftentimes, though it gives us a feeling of relief from whatever we may be struggling, it forces us into a deeper form of humility required to receive something much deeper than the act itself, the avoidance of confusing defense of Truth with defense of self. John 13:6-8 

The second stage(a servant) begins the life marathon of the second mile when we are moved to serve someone else. John 13:12-17 Oftentimes during this initial prompting we are not confident to act because of worrying how they will receive us or, we might force our way into it pridefully without thought. It can be intimidating to us because we want to recreate the initial "joy" we felt when being served though we may not be sure how to do it. If we're led to do something different than what was done for us, it may be confusing from the worry that it's not quite the exact way we thought it should be. In this stage we begin to taste suffering in a different form than was familiar from past experiences in that we have stepped into someone's life a little too close for comfort and convenience. The more this is done the more strength(faith) is needed to continue. Luke 17:3-10

This suffering intensifies into the third stage of friendship John 15:15-16 because at this point much patience and compassion is required than most relationships have, especially as conflict develops. Joy that was first tasted in being served has developed now into something so deep and intense that I in part see why suffering is described as a priviledge and struggle in Christ. Philippians 1:29-30 It is also the reason we get frustrated with the thinking that we can find joy on our own. It's not through suffering that we find joy but serving others that leads to suffering while friendships are being created and deepening. 

Joy is tasted and experienced at ever deepening levels that only the Spirit can move us into through obedience out of faith. This fourth stage is what is described as a friendship that has deepened into the experience of brother and sisterhood in community and true fellowship. John 20:17 What we first sought alone was certainty instead of meaning. We find that joy overcomes drudgery from meaning in a right relationship with God in Christ based not on certainty and conformity, but risk and commitment to Him first and then our neighbor through knowledge of Him. Isaiah 53:11

Many turn away in their view of drudgery of the second mile before ever reaching a level of joy in view of God's mercy that, once reached, can never again be ignored for long. John 6:60-69

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