How often this question comes up from a headless body! I call this defining goals only of the mind rather than the heart(mind over what really matters).  Not that "What's ahead?" is always the wrong question, but that it can reveal a demand to understand(plan without trust) by rebelling againt authority and conviction in real time.

The Source of directon speaks through God's word by unfolding as a dream(to imagine) or as a vision recognizing the beginning of a story wrapping in one that is already ongoing.  This story(not game) allows for the opportunity to trust rather than plan or to plan as a result of trust. Very few, if any, well laid plans didn't require change through their course of  execution. Yet without trust, guidence becomes illusive and disconnected expressed as "A part of me feels this, but a part of me feels that". Many seek affirmation and information at this point rather than true guidance and leadership. This badly needed(hunger for) affirmation is clothed in a cleverly disguised question of "What do I do?".

I must learn to stop running toward my agenda at this point at least long enough to take in(receive) a deep breath of life(revelation). To know myself as one who is loved as the least of these rather than as the prideful greatest is liberating. The natural tendency is to demand understanding of what's ahead  based on conscious or unconscious fear of judgment.  To run again(start fresh) bathed in mercy over judgment is no longer grieving the Holy Spirit that results in leaving me at the mercy of my judgmental intellect.

So what is often the culprit alongside a lack of trust? Agenda-based disobedience because of self-worship. This worship of self always does something good that requires no suffering on my part(though it often requires the suffering of others to carry it out). It even protests or fights against something that appears bad(evil) when in reality this something or somene is messing with or revealing my agenda.

The theme of refusal to suffer for others in life is driven by not letting others in close enough to truly suffer for us. A few of the many reasons for this are deep insecurity, procrastination prolonging self-hatred, and because allowing others that far in can wreck our selfish agendas.

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