Do I figure out something in order to enjoy it, him, or her or do I enjoy it, him, or her in order to figure it out? So which is a good figure or should I say figuring? Trying to understand is the intent to be enlightened but the greater desire is to know, not understand. To seek to know brings the primary strengthening joy to lead into an action to do next that brings understanding. This leads to greater desire to know with greater joy and strength to continue to act with more patience and compassion while anticipating greater understanding to come.

I then begin to look forward to someone or thing with lessening dread and negative fear. Go figure.

As I "figure" out an example of this, what comes to mind is a common problem I see happening so often in conversations. Someone brings up a problem and begins to share their story. Hearing the story sparks an interest to see the problem clearly understood with a solution. However, this is at the expense of hearing the hidden story underlying the story being told, not just the problem that is only now seen.

Much of the response given is rarely applicable to the hidden story because the desire to know someone is often second in importance to the desire to understand someone (with the problem being presented as part of the story). Since many demand that they be understood, we are used to seeing something as a problem to be understood rather than a person with a deeper story to be known. The deeper knowing is where the understanding begins because of the emotional ties required that give the sense of  being esteemed, valued, respected, and loved.

A great figure of speech for this is to listen more and speak less, but with more meaning to the person in the hidden story. The tendency is to disrespect, project, dissect, & neglect rather than to hear mo after saying tell me mo.