Getting real is coining your own phrases to fluently- not honestly- reveal your heart rather than the use of counterfeit words of emotion that often only relect the expectations of others for you. I find it difficult to get to the heart of the matter with many because they are often not sure whose heart it is that really matters. This is reflected in an absense of meaning and a search for certainty that can destroy relationships.
It is important that we be a safe haven. Others can begin to know their own hearts while with us. No longer stammering in what is thought to be honesty. Honesty is not always as accurate a picture as one thinks.
Behavior then can match up with one's belief because now the words reflect and carry the essense of who one really is. Either the heart of who we are matters or nothing does.