When someone is hurting, often many respond in some form to see what’s wrong in order to help. The wrong is usually the first thing to be assessed as would a doctor with his diagnosis. When we respond to someone, we often appear as the doctor in our own mind ready to diagnose because we are highly emotionally charged when we recognize the call. While this is good in the beginning, this thinking blinds us often to the coming inconvenience that may overwhelm or overtake us even more than the emotions generated in our response and desire to help someone. This inconvenience is a delayed response or no response to the diagnosis or assessment by the one who needs the help. This can be no big deal in the beginning because in the short time that has elapsed as in a car wreck, the one who is hurt will soon be well because we now probably know what is wrong. We probably even know the common sense simple answer to the problem.
Yet often the number one thing necessary that is missed through the “doctors" thinking is to comfort. Understanding comes through comfort and not the diagnosis. Comforting just makes the diagnosis receivable. The inconvenience that can overwhelm us is that the event often not only reveals the problem causing the event but reveals a deeper wound of past experiences that may have never been healed because of the busy doctors around us. We as helpers have been so accustomed to receiving value in growing numbers of people, money, or opportunities to act that when someone needs help, we easily get frustrated when time is required to walk or sit alongside someone longer than we expected. We just don’t have time.
We can become a danger to them in becoming more aggressive and direct in our demands to respond to the problem as we know it. The problem is we don’t have a doctor shortage but what we really have is a shortage of comforting nurses. Much of our discernment needed to help someone is given us through our willingness to comfort no matter how long it might take.
As Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 2:7,8:
“But we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”
As this reveals it may not be just an issue of doctors and nurses but mothers and fathers needed in the church. However the more we care for others the more relief we need from our cares. Cast them no matter how big or little on the Father because it matters to Him. 1 Peter 5:7.
Gentleness can break a bone so that it can heal. Proverbs 25:15