The surge of affection that transcends the insurgent feelings.  The surge of feelings without affection, or feelings that refuse affection, keep me stuck to the pew in fearful anticipation of losing(near miss)  first right of refusal without commitment. Affectionate love keeps me stuck on you, not the pew. Yet this love carries with it the surge-protected(less impulsive)  freedom to ask the questions and share things that are important to me about you and me without stealing, killing, or destroying your own affections and feelings by my lack of discipline.