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Thoughts
As far as the I can see. Where could that be?
It always seems
to fall back on me.
As I reflect on
obedient unto death
instead of taking away sin,
it takes away my breath.
Do I trust in me
who is but a breath?
But the wages of sin
and the fear of death
originally by priests
taken out of sight
now by Christ
taken away by might.
His might makes
Him who he is.
The obedient Son
makes us His.
By His knowledge
with a now enlightened eye
it's not how far but so nigh.
As we come to each "fork" in the road of our lives, we often get stuck there. Stuck not always because of lack of insight as what to do next, but due to the unresolved emotional issues of the past experineces that this fork reminds us. The dark confusion of this often creates intense fear where words cease and what has been formerly said begins to unfold(Psalm 97:2). The cord of this experience must be cut or the dust shaken from our emotional feet(Isaiah 52:2, Matthew 10:14). That allows the shoes of peace(Ephesians 6:15) to begin walking past this place where growth ceased. Growth then restarts and continues that creates positive and lasting change.
This wild abandonement from our past and selves removes the spiritual arrogance and replaces it with a continuing fear spoken of in Proverbs 9:10 and Romans 11:20-22.
It's often easy to fight against something because that is our nature. But, we're rarely trained how to fight for something, i.e. faith, family, etc. The thin line between fighting for something vs. against is spoken about in Colossians 1:9.
The willingness to fight against something is not always enough to make up for what we're unwilling to fight for.
Been around the block.
Now in stocks on the block.
"Me first", words of a whore.
Now what's in store?
Will You restore
joy as before,
but much more,
wounds less sore,
on wings will soar.
In me You'll pour
Spirit to my core.
Truth, not folklore.
Allow the Holy Spirit to apply the lipstick called Silence when self-belittlement(criticism) fools us into a false humility. Self-belittlement is putting lipstick on a pig rather than a pearl. Psalm 144:12
Often when something has happened that is painful we feel we must scream or become deathly silent. But once we're allowed to talk through it, we begin to feel the healing reality of being knocked off balance by pain in the descriptions we use to describe such. Examples include "I feel like I'm talking in circles", "talking outside of both sides of my mouth", "rambling", or "going off on a tangent".
Once talking through this pain begins, so does the healing. The reason is that we have been met where we truly are by someone giving us this freedom as well as our true self being felt.
The experience of not being alone is being rich in its truest sense. I've been heard because someone is with me! Philippians 4:19
If the pain deepens as it often does when healing begins I picture in my own mind that I'm talking and feeling as if I'm on a tilt-a-whirl at the county fair, a feeling much more off balance than talking in circles.
But something about it touches the joy in me that is far deeper than anything I feel.
There is an excitement to this like I had going to the county fair in Murray, Ky. as a child.
I think I just need to go back to the county fair more often, watch the beauty contest(Psalm 27:4), and get another "ticket to ride".
My wounds, drawn from the well of grief, my brokeness, my anger, no relief.
Are these from the Father or the thief?
My heart? Dead, buried, or just broken?
Depending, is my reaction to what is spoken.
Or is the fact that I react,
when instead by faith I just act.
Shame distorts the well of grief
denying it to be the Mercy-seat,
a man of sorrows who washes our feet,
this holy affair where anger, we don't meet.
The cross, Psalm 85:10, doubly sweet.
Healing comes from tenderness and rest. We often resort to extreme self-denial instead because of the feelings produced of being in control.
The most common yet usually unrecognized form of this is over-analysis or "I have to figure out____".
This kills the mind's freedom to experience the benefits from thinking(Isaiah 46:8) and begins the controlled process of now thinking about what one is thinking, i.e. becoming analytical.
This substitute form of suffering is from an over-developed mind and under-developed will.
The mind can generate more pain or create higher expectations(Proverbs 13:12) than the pain caused by the wound, thus an ironic form of relief is found.
True rest in its final step is a free mind, not an open one.
A free mind receives what is best(Philippians 1:9-11) and is free from what isn't.
An open mind just adds more and more books to the mental shelf that is already overloaded.
It's strange how an overloaded mental shelf feels like a great substitute for true grace.
With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power that he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 2 Thessalonians 1:11
At some point perfectionist standards get set too high, and life becomes nothing more than a series of measured self-driven performances.
The drive to be perfect becomes self-defeating as we often place intense pressure on ourselves. This can become crippling and blinding to our true purpose.
Our goals become only outcome-based instead of process-driven and the joy goes away.
This tightens us up like a banjo string often causing us to act impulsively or not at all.
We begin to judge each step in a way that causes us to miss most of the opportunities that would have brought joy back into the process.
Judging distances us and kills the joy that comes from intimacy of the relationships we have to share in the process of daily life.
Stuck? Confused? First think small because that's who we are when we begin or begin again. Don't despise the day of small things, people, or acts.
Faith, not the devil, is in the details.
Steps make a leap. The judge never says to the guilty "Leap forward".
Forceful men don't force things. They are submissively willing to be taken hold of and then to forcefully hold on to or cling to whom it is who thrusts them into what is unfolding before them. Matthew 11:12-15, Genesis 32:26
Mystery is the opportunity to trust rather than plan. Daniel 2:47, Ephesians 1:9
The goal of learning is action, not knowledge. Learning to live by faith is action based on belief sustained by confidence.
Faith is a knowledgeable response or action to God our Father's communication with us.
Learn this: Matthew 9:13
Control is the way we split ourselves in two. A part of me this and a part of me that. It is trying and trying separates us even more from our real selves. No wonder we are susceptible to varying degrees of panic attacks from living as two rather than one.
David prayed in Psalm 86:11 to heal of the two-faced hypocricy that the desire to control creates in us.
Self-control is the mark of a Christ follower and comes from surrender once trying ceases.
I wrote a poem that I'm reminded of as I write this about what surrender can bring while we still struggle with surprises.
A Sane Imagination, A New Creation
A sane imagination, a new creation.
Tempered action from shattered expectations.
Perservering, conscience no longer searing.
Courageous without domineering.
Silently, while speaking,
praying and seeking,
listening without freaking,
stillness, door creaking.
Who entered into my room
without permission so soon?
My heart? Don't bother!
Who's there?
Abba Father?
