Confused imprisonment in a childish struggle to be childlike. Matthew 11:16-19
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Thoughts
There is a difference between embracing darkness and loving it. John 3:19-21 Embracing it keeps me from lighting up. Isaiah 50:10,11
Swimming up the stream of the familiar, I longed for someone to lift me out so that I could just flip-flop for a while. This desire felt like betrayal. Unknowlingly, the force of streaming waves against me were a betrayal of something deeper. A betrayal of my faith. Isaiah 63:10 Ignoring the warning; "You turn", I had sacrificed the very faith I had been given by slipping on appeal of a listening ear. If I would just bend my ear to the call to Righteousness by faith, I would see the greener grass is freshly cut in the other direction. Psalm 72:6
Deep calls calls to deep As I create prosperity and disaster.
So which above is the jar of alabaster?
What seemed as waste by one summation
was transformed by grace
into worship and admiration. Matthew 26:6-10
"Charged" with relentless self-condemnation. We're trained to believe this is noble yet it's abuse from perfectionist tendencies of distrust. Relief is found by holding others to illegitimate legalistic demands which never satisfy. Matthew 23:24 The deception of this false humility leads the self-condemned to feel as though everything is great. In his mind he's proven himself right while those around him suffer from his authoritarian rule. This is the distorted fear and attraction of the known rather than the unknown.
Healing begins from a willingness to detach from the unhealthy loyalty to the familiar, i.e. the way I was raised or have learned to protect myself. Colossians 2:20-23
Restoring me from a lover of my skills to skillfully loving. Redeemed innocence of a dove yet wise as a serpent. Jeremiah 2:31-33
True recognition of the way I feel by stopping to acknowledge it brings its deeper meaning of self-understanding. The result is a growing awareness of knowledge within me that determines my subsequent behavior rather than my behavior determining my knowledge. I match my behavior to knowledge rather than seeking knowledge through my behavior. Romans 16:19
Service stationed. Psalm 110:3
When my heart is in someone else's chest. Ecclesiastes 4:4
Meaning is more important than certainty. The sweet work of meaningful pain through risk and commitment is evidence of a marriage made in heaven. Hosea 2:14-20
Worming my way in before everyone else is not always obedience nor does it always grant me exclusive rights. Matthew 20:8-16
Refusing to wear anything but a three-piece ashen soot. Luke 5:33-39
Church plants and and carve-outs. Psalm 144:12
Authoritative tenderness. 1 Thessalonians 2:7,11,12