Forgive without Painlessness

We carry pain from the past into our present experience. That pain can make forgiving someone who has wronged us or someone we love seem virtually impossible. And by our own power, it is impossible. When I have experienced true forgiveness from someone I have wronged, it clearly flows out of their own deep experience of having been forgiven. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 When the the Lord whispers "you are forgiven" in our ears, and as we (by His power) receive that forgiveness, our focus shifts to Him. Then, when someone wrongs us, that pain does not distract us(for long) from our vision of the Lord.  The Spirit is willing and forgiving. When we rely on Him who forgives, the experience of forgiveness is brought and experienced through Him. Matthew 26:41

It's confusing and difficult to separate pain and forgiveness, but we must. Zechariah 4:6 They can and do exist side by side(i.e. I am hurting, but I forgive you) as does our human nature with the Holy Spirit within us. 1 Corinthians 6:17

Attention

One of the greatest gifts one can give to another is the gift of one's attention.

What Some Call Drudgery

If I look for but find no joy in what I'm doing, then my view of what I'm doing changes into a view of drudgery. In fact, as time goes on I must resort to finding pleasure in whatever form outside of what I'm doing as a substitute for the joy that is missing inside. This view can only be replaced by knowledge that joy is experiencially unfolded in four stages that keep occuring and reocurring as we encounter more and more people.. The last three stages are described with some examples in what Scripture calls the second mile. Matthew 5:38-48 This second mile is what we view as drudgery and yet that's where the joy and view of the Lord and His works unfold through Spirit led men and women. The first stage is being served by someone who is led to serve you. That experience gives a taste of what this new view of joy will begin to look and feel like in a relationship. Oftentimes, though it gives us a feeling of relief from whatever we may be struggling, it forces us into a deeper form of humility required to receive something much deeper than the act itself, the avoidance of confusing defense of Truth with defense of self. John 13:6-8 

The second stage(a servant) begins the life marathon of the second mile when we are moved to serve someone else. John 13:12-17 Oftentimes during this initial prompting we are not confident to act because of worrying how they will receive us or, we might force our way into it pridefully without thought. It can be intimidating to us because we want to recreate the initial "joy" we felt when being served though we may not be sure how to do it. If we're led to do something different than what was done for us, it may be confusing from the worry that it's not quite the exact way we thought it should be. In this stage we begin to taste suffering in a different form than was familiar from past experiences in that we have stepped into someone's life a little too close for comfort and convenience. The more this is done the more strength(faith) is needed to continue. Luke 17:3-10

This suffering intensifies into the third stage of friendship John 15:15-16 because at this point much patience and compassion is required than most relationships have, especially as conflict develops. Joy that was first tasted in being served has developed now into something so deep and intense that I in part see why suffering is described as a priviledge and struggle in Christ. Philippians 1:29-30 It is also the reason we get frustrated with the thinking that we can find joy on our own. It's not through suffering that we find joy but serving others that leads to suffering while friendships are being created and deepening. 

Joy is tasted and experienced at ever deepening levels that only the Spirit can move us into through obedience out of faith. This fourth stage is what is described as a friendship that has deepened into the experience of brother and sisterhood in community and true fellowship. John 20:17 What we first sought alone was certainty instead of meaning. We find that joy overcomes drudgery from meaning in a right relationship with God in Christ based not on certainty and conformity, but risk and commitment to Him first and then our neighbor through knowledge of Him. Isaiah 53:11. 

Many turn away in their view of drudgery of the second mile before ever reaching a level of joy in view of God's mercy that, once reached, can never again be ignored for long. John 6:60-69

Team Building

I remember when I was trying to teach one of my daughters to ride a bicycle.  She was terrified that I would let go of the seat.  What she didn’t know was that I was equally afraid.  I didn’t want her to fall and get hurt.  And, since I really wanted her to learn how to ride a bicycle, I didn’t want her to get so discouraged that she would quit trying.  So we would go out to the front yard of our house and go back and forth while I was holding onto the seat.  She peddled as fast as her little heart was beating. Then one day a girl who lived next door came over and asked her to ride bikes.  She went outside, jumped on her bike, and off she went.  It was amazing.

She rode because, for that brief moment, the practicing she had been doing had so much become a part of her that, as soon as her mind was on something else (keeping up with the other girl), she forgot her fear and rode alongside her friend.

My father taught me to ride in much the same way. He not only coached me in this as a son, but prepared me to ride in community(friendships) for which I was created. The challenges for me came in different forms and different settings often initiated by friends. The greater vision through my father's coaching developed over the years into building teams(community) and rebuilding after failure while at the same time learning how to be a team player. The intense struggle that began as a young boy still continues between the competitive self will and the Spirit's desire for building community(teams) revealing Someone greater than ourselves who is for us. Romans 8:31

Because of the many wounds from which we suffer in life , we often let our competitive nature overule community in conflict with others. Christ modeled truth with patience and compassion in conflict with others and He builds and rebuilds family through community as his body, the church. Jeremiah 31:4

In any particular occasion whether in business, family, or friendships, our challenge is to not go it alone. In community, both the offensive and defensive teams are on the field at the same time. Deuteronomy 31:8

Pushing the pedal to the metal must not cloud over that iron sharpens iron.

Lost in my Space

Without repentance I'm lost in space. Yet given notice of the danger of error(sin) by the Spirit of Holiness, space and even time lost is redeemed through the gift of repentance in which I hear the whisper of forgiveness and delight in me. Psalm 18:19 Lost in my space is exausting from my legalistic and hollow view that perfection can be earned rather than received. John 1:12  Time rules over me as I calculate, plan, and attempt to reach a destination point as quickly as possible in order to no longer feel lost(insignificant) rather than being ruled by the Spirit and His timing, a timing ungoverned by the preciseness of the perfectionist's clock.

I can not live up to the perfectionist expectations I project on God. My limitied experience of the world through refusal to live consciously aware of repentance only leads to justify my eratic, unpredictable, and prejudiced behavior. Without repentance and forgiveness included, a chaotic view of the world is all that is possible. Sadly then, when you see this son, you see his view of the Father. Matthew 25:24-25 This view expects only punishment from the Father instead of being loved out of immaturity by discipline through training. Hebrews 5:7-14

As a flea but fiercely free. 1 Samuel 24:14

Taming Chaos

Taming chaotic tendencies is accomplished not just through present knowledge but through continual learning as well.   Since chaos is ever-changing, there is always a need to know more (or know someone who knows more) to move through the chaos. Chaos is good because it forces us to become more aware of our responsibilities and how those responsibilities change over time.  Inner strength, which is required to move through chaos, continues to grow with each response to the chaotic situations we face. Judges 8:4

Often we begin analyzing chaos and our response to it before carefully observing and listening to the particular chaotic events or circumstances we are experiencing, and in so doing we block our ability to tame or remove the chaos.  In chaos there are many personal patterns of response that can be easily  identified by simply observing and listening before analysis is required. By inviting someone into our lives (a mentor for instance) to observe the patterns of our responses to particular chaotic events , we can identify particular responses to particular events and question the motives behind our responses. This process usually initiates a different, experiential and more meaningful response. An awareness is brought to our "routine response patterns" allowing a new awareness to be substituted for the routine reponse - in effect, changing that routine. 

This step brings order into chaos by a new routine of awareness, keeping us open to new knowledge. This awareness can either remove the chaos completely or at least put enough inspired order into the chaos to persevere through it while growing stronger under stress. James 1:2-5

Goals Spiritualized

Goals often block our potential. Take basketball for example.  Shooting at the wrong basket (goal) will not only make you feel silly but may cost you the game. Unmet goals or goals attained without the expected satisfaction cause us to feel confused - even guilty, leading us to spiritualize our uncomfortable and often unexpected feelings by impulsively creating new goals or adding new projects to give this discomfort the appearance of being more "Christian" like.

Striving toward greater goal-driven heights often reveals a pervasive lack of forgiveness toward others and ourselves. Much of what drives us is sustained by this unsatisfying guilt, which is a powerful, motivating force that works violently against the peace given me from simple obedience out of faith. Romans 1:5

As this struggle intensifies, so does my struggle with impatience. Yet as I learn to listen intently, my impatience increasingly turns into impatient prayers for opportunities to forgive and to extend the grace I've been given. Proverbs 16:8

Many projects or kind deeds performed out of this lack of peace and unforgiveness have been performed out of this spiritualized confusion . Many have done great things they were not led to do because redemptive grace was refused while being busily committed to goals driven by guilt.

May we stop the guilt-driven "do-gooder" spiritualizing and simply be forgivenly led through the goal making process so that potential is unlocked and unlimited. Philippians 4:13

Intuitive Imagination

Someone I had just met by phone asked me to watch the movie Flicka starring Tim McGraw. She identified, as did Katy the cowgirl in the movie, with the free and untamed, yet deeply aware and sensitive Mustang that she named Flicka . After our three hour phone call, I rented the movie and watched it that night. In a follow-up e-mail I mentioned that our phone call revealed that she has an intuitive imagination that many lose due to wounds, shattered expectations, or heartbreak from their youth. Not surprisingly, there was a great example from a scene in the movie she recommended.

When Katy enters the corral for the second secretive late night attempt to approach Flicka, she invites the Mustang to gently come to her by extending her hand with an apple. After the horse slowly approaches her and sees that it's safe, he eats it. She then says " One is enough for now" and disappears back into her house.

She intuitively knew that for the intimacy to grow between Flicka and her, that the wild horse couldn't handle more than one apple at that point without the horse losing focus on who not only was in control now, but also who had the power to meet a deeper hunger. The wild horse's timely willingness to take the risk of vulnerability in spite of a powerful self will that could have done otherwise is representative of intuitive imagination. Jeremiah 31:18

The prayers in Scripture about this restoration of the sense of wonder into our redemptive life story of wild abandonment are found in Psalm 119:18, and Psalm 90:14-17.

This inspired or intuitive imagination keeps one sane in the middle of chaos, yet does not prevent us from surprise or being caught off guard. I wrote about this in a poem previously posted.

A Sane Imagination, A New Creation

A sane imagination, a new creation.

Tempered action from shattered expectations.

Perservering, conscience no longer searing.

Courageous without domineering.

Silently, while speaking,

praying and seeking,

listening without freaking,

stillness, door creaking.

Who entered into my room

without permission so soon?

My heart? Don’t bother!

Who’s there?

Abba Father? 

Psalm 32:8-9

Collateral Damage

It's stunning how much good that I see being done by leaders in organizations. Yet at the same time, much unnecessary collateral damage is also done to many of the relationships involved. Proverbs 18:23 Systems must be set up not only to increase productivity but to define the rules and boundaries to play by just as in sports. However, without the leaders willing to build community within these systems many are left bleeding in the streets even though there may be a paycheck.

How often untrained leaders or leaders ruled by greed or emotion miss the great opportunities of seizing the moment given them to serve the needs of their followers or employees for healing and spiritual growth. 2 Timothy 3:1-9

Excuses of "It's just business", "I don't have to hold their hand", or "Just let me do my job" hinder my inspiration to be more than I am at any given moment.

Serve others . Yet do it by faith, not efficiency. Luke 17:5-10

Black and Blue Collar Leadership

Leading others to lay one brick at a time while simultaneously envisioning the cathedral being built is my idea of a wise and nurturing scholar with a blue collar.

The term scholar, as used above, is not limited to an academician though it could be. It speaks of the giftedness of an individual's leadership – scholarship potential leadership – similar to scholarship athletes and honor students.

Risk for the leader begins when he takes this "cathedral" like vision of community in a competitive world from the imagination to action. For others to envision his vision they must see their own vision and how their self-interest aligns with the greater corporate one.

This ability to lead others to envision corporately as an organization, institution, or family comes from the leader's powerful, yet beautifully simple language of hope. His own uniquely inspired communications will uplift the spirit in others through affirmation in the strength of his own willingness to serve this greater vision.

Authoritative tenderness. 1 Thessalonians 2:3-12

Picture in Picture Leadership

One of the great risks in leadership is not seeing the whole picture. At any point in time there are potentially two conflicting issues going on - the bigger picture issue and the circumstantial, momentary issues within the bigger picture.  For example we can get so caught up in the job at hand that we loose sight of the purpose of our work.  While perfect vision is not required, undistracted quietness in our vision is essential to keep hold of and not lose site of the bigger picture. Isaiah 30:15 The same principle holds true in our personal lives.  We need this elastic and unifying ability to look intently at life issues and encourage healing action rather than merely correcting and controlling behavior. It's a freedom to excell without the chronic defensiveness that prevents serving others with others as part of a team. James 1:25-27

I make every effort to analyse an issue using concious logic until I reach a point of freedom from the analysis where I'm led to open up to intuitive, if not counterintuitive insight. My "inspired" logic evolves into action based on furthering the bigger picture while acting in the immediate moment. Hosea 14:8-9

I'm stopped short of the boastful one-man-show tendency that whispers the lie that by failing to rely solely on my logic I'm putting my brain in my back pocket. God gave me a brain. Therefore, I must use it! Right? It can be both terrifying and humbling to restrain my manipulative, intellect-driven ability which acts, skillfully, based on past known or seen experience without envisioning purpose driven reasoning.  1 Chronicles 14:13-17

The devil is not the one in the details, but the one whispering distractions in the bigger and smaller pictures. I Chronicles 28:19

Seek first Christ driven reasoning. Isaiah 1:18

Golden Calves

It's difficult to distinguish in our culture between marketing vs. sharing the Gospel. We live in an economy driven by consumption with few obstacles to immediate gratification. Therefore it seems natural to create a marketing-driven church since we have a clear example in scripture. Exodus 32:1-6  This is perpetuated through the culturally distorted use of our language sacrificing  praise on the altar of advertising. Words matter when truth is involved. Hosea 14:2

Leading the Follower

A common leadership failure is a leader’s unwillingness to clearly communicate to followers that they are both wanted and needed. Maintaining long term followers is difficult if leadership refuses to create the environment for communicating this concept. An admission that followers are needed reveals a leader’s vulnerability. Flattery is a mask used to deflect words like “want”, and criticism is a weapon used to arrest the use of the word “need”.  Many leaders see their role as a power play rather than an empowering one. A leader’s enlarged ego causes him to believe his followers are privileged to have him as a leader. The reality is he should see himself as privileged and honored to lead those followers. In the business world for example, an entire industry has developed dedicated solely to providing temporary workers to fill important roles for companies. Utilizing this service enables a leader, hiding under the justification of lower employment costs, to accomplish his goals while avoiding any sense of commitment to or real communication with his followers. Some full-time employees are often treated like temps to cover the leader’s lack of respect, inclusion, and inability to provide the clarity and service they need. Great leaders empower their followers by serving them. Mark 10:42-45

Delegating

Grace eliminates boasting in order to free leaders as mentors through entrusting. 2 Timothy 2:1-2