Standard of Discipline

Often we call our life of an "imprisoned self" discipline. However, discipline is a result of, not a cause of, death to self, not imprisonment. We are no longer enslaved slaves. It is not a dead self we have to fear but an imprisoned self which is infinitely more self-cantered than any other(Proverbs 19:2).

Imprisoned intensifies the focus on ourselves and demands even more from whom and what's around us.

A disciple or learner is taught death to self by knowledge of Him(Galatians 2:20, Isaiah 53:11) and the resulting discipline is an abundant life under the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 3:21-26

Double Entendre

Man with a child in his eyes. Want to know the man? Look into his eyes. Boy, oh boy.

2 Kings 4:16, 34

Proverbs 20:5

Able to stir up a deep sense of recognition in others.

Many, but not much

Follow the cloud, not always the crowd. Exodus 13:21, 23:2, Hebrews 12:1

As far as the I can see

As far as the I can see. Where could that be?

It always seems

to fall back on me.

As I reflect on

obedient unto death

instead of taking away sin,

it takes away my breath.

Do I trust in me

who is but a breath?

But the wages of sin

and the fear of death

originally by priests

taken out of sight

now by Christ

taken away by might.

His might makes

Him who he is.

The obedient Son

makes us His.

By His knowledge

with a now enlightened eye

it's not how far but so nigh.

Emotional Roadblocks

As we come to each "fork" in the road of our lives, we often get stuck there. Stuck not always because of lack of insight as what to do next, but due to the unresolved emotional issues of the past experineces that this fork reminds us. The dark confusion of this often creates intense fear where words cease and what has been formerly said begins to unfold(Psalm 97:2). The cord of this experience must be cut or the dust shaken from our emotional feet(Isaiah 52:2, Matthew 10:14). That allows the shoes of peace(Ephesians 6:15) to begin walking past this place where growth ceased. Growth then restarts and continues that creates positive and lasting change.

This wild abandonement from our past and selves removes the spiritual arrogance and replaces it with a continuing fear spoken of in Proverbs 9:10 and Romans 11:20-22.

The Good Fight

It's often easy to fight against something because that is our nature. But, we're rarely trained how to fight for something, i.e. faith, family, etc. The thin line between fighting for something vs. against is spoken about in Colossians 1:9.

The willingness to fight against something is not always enough to make up for what we're unwilling to fight for.

Hosea's Gomer

Been around the block.

Now in stocks on the block.

"Me first", words of a whore.

Now what's in store?

Will You restore

joy as before,

but much more,

wounds less sore,

on wings will soar.

In me You'll pour

Spirit to my core.

Truth, not folklore.

A Lipstick called Silence

Allow the Holy Spirit to apply the lipstick called Silence when self-belittlement(criticism) fools us into a false humility. Self-belittlement is putting lipstick on a pig rather than a pearl. Psalm 144:12

Talking in circles from the pain

Often when something has happened that is painful we feel we must scream or become deathly silent. But once we're allowed to talk through it, we begin to feel the healing reality of being knocked off balance by pain in the descriptions we use to describe such.  Examples include "I feel like I'm talking in circles", "talking outside of both sides of my mouth", "rambling", or "going off on a tangent".

Once talking through this pain begins, so does the healing. The reason is that we have been met where we truly are by someone giving us this freedom as well as our true self being felt.

The experience of not being alone is being rich in its truest sense. I've been heard because someone is with me! Philippians 4:19

If the pain deepens as it often does when healing begins I picture in my own mind that I'm talking and feeling as if I'm on a tilt-a-whirl at the county fair, a feeling much more off balance than talking in circles.

But something about it touches the joy in me that is far deeper than anything I feel.

There is an excitement to this like I had going to the county fair in Murray, Ky. as a child.

I think I just need to go back to the county fair more often, watch the beauty contest(Psalm 27:4), and get another "ticket to ride".

Well of Grief

My wounds, drawn from the well of grief, my brokeness, my anger, no relief.

Are these from the Father or the thief?

My heart? Dead, buried, or just broken?

Depending, is my reaction to what is spoken.

Or is the fact that I react,

when instead by faith I just act.

Shame distorts the well of grief

denying it to be the Mercy-seat,

a man of sorrows who washes our feet,

this holy affair where anger, we don't meet.

The cross, Psalm 85:10, doubly sweet.

Healing

Healing comes from tenderness and rest. We often resort to extreme self-denial instead because of the feelings produced of being in control.

The most common yet usually unrecognized form of this is over-analysis or "I have to figure out____".

This kills the mind's freedom to experience the benefits from thinking(Isaiah 46:8) and begins the controlled process of now thinking about what one is thinking, i.e. becoming analytical.

This substitute form of suffering is from an over-developed mind and under-developed will.

The mind can generate more pain or create higher expectations(Proverbs 13:12) than the pain caused by the wound, thus an ironic form of relief is found.

True rest in its final step is a free mind, not an open one.

A free mind receives what is best(Philippians 1:9-11) and is free from what isn't.

An open mind just adds more and more books to the mental shelf that is already overloaded.

It's strange how an overloaded mental shelf feels like a great substitute for true grace.

Perfectionist Standards

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power that he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 2 Thessalonians 1:11

At some point perfectionist standards get set too high, and life becomes nothing more than a series of measured self-driven performances.

The drive to be perfect becomes self-defeating as we often place intense pressure on ourselves. This can become crippling and blinding to our true purpose.

Our goals become only outcome-based instead of process-driven and the joy goes away.

This tightens us up like a banjo string often causing us to act impulsively or not at all.

We begin to judge each step in a way that causes us to miss most of the opportunities that would have brought joy back into the process.

Judging distances us and kills the joy that comes from intimacy of the relationships we have to share in the process of daily life.

Stuck?

Stuck? Confused? First think small because that's who we are when we begin or begin again. Don't despise the day of small things, people, or acts.

Faith, not the devil, is in the details.

Steps make a leap. The judge never says to the guilty "Leap forward".