Mom and Eye

I drove 4 hours round trip to spend a couple of hours with my Mom today in Murray, Ky.  She has the wisdom of Solomon and is as sharp as a tack. Though tired, she welcomed me and was intensely attentive. She knew I needed to talk as she reflected on her 1st date with my father and how 6 months later they were married.  My ears seemed to open up like eyes as I listened to Mom in ways that seemed more like radar than hearing. I sensed things that appear to be appearing rather than things that already are.  My next venture will be about "what will be" more than the venture that just ended which was about "what is."  While listening to her speak about the past, I realized the importance of my new undertaking of learning how to draw (something I have never done before).  In learning how to draw by pencil, I free my imagination to write more fluently; therefore, my mind is clearer and freerer. Similarily, strange as it seems, learning this new method opened me up to something old: the past.  I've been listening to my past for months now in ways that connect me to who I now am in order to impact others in a more effective way. Discovering the themes of my life as I recover from recent years' events seems to be a path of  much resistance upon which I'm learning to resist the resistance.

For example, yesterday, I even walked around the Freshman dorm where I first lived at Vanderbilt to relive a fear I had at 18, which was a new kind of fear for me at that time. Something resonated in me about that fear that I needed to revisit; even today, this fear seemed to make me feel off-balance . I knew I needed to go talk with Mom because of it, and I have yet to understand its meaning  even after our visit. But I know I will see eye to I soon.

Patient Patient

The  fearful time of the unknown when it is clear that it is unclear reveals that I have had control taken away from me or that I have given it up. Either is a sign of progress.  Why could this be progress? The extreme focus to control limits my perspective to see what possibilities exist that seem impossibilities but aren't. They just are discovered by deeper perception that control limits. The obvious exception is in crisis when no time to reflect exists.

Following the Lead

Come dance with me. Psalm 30:10-12 But before we dance, laugh with me. Job 8:20-21 If you can’t laugh, you might be a good dancer but you can’t follow as a leader because you take yourself too seriously(self-absorbed). Joy is the strength leading us out of the old song and dance routine of a life of mediocrity. Nehemiah 8:10-11

Fall

I was meandering through my front yard today in this second day of Fall and saw something fall about 25 feet from one of the trees into the creek with a thump. It looked like a squirrel that landed on its back though I had never seen that happen before. I went over in order to see up close and there was a squirrel on its feet which ran back up the tree as it saw me. I thought "That is nuts!" and then I realized it was just a squirrel in the fall.

Relationship Building

The success in relationship building tends to be thought of as "scouting out" someone, watching how he or she reacts or has reacted to others, or by their habits and disciplines. While this helps, it is rarely how a lasting meaningful relationship is built, especially one that we can influence and not be distracted by opinion. What is important to recognize are the patterns one has of interaction with and reaction towards us specifically. While these patterns may appear similar to past and current relationships that the other has, our actions, not reactions, are what begin to develop the relationship in a much deeper and more influential way. 

Awe

Exausted human speech.

Vision

Vision exists when promise outweighs threat by my speech yielding to my memory rather than my memory yielding to my speech.

Solitude

Anti-social security

Guidance

The teaching of the inner meaning that is not so apparent in translation of an action or words.

Perfectionism

One of the chief causes of blindness to beauty.

Mentoring

Converting the interior blueprints of a person into a finished product.

Intimacy

Tuning in, toning down, and lightening up.

Consummate Master

The power of his word suffices.

Death by Lecture

We are to mentor, not intimidate. Lead rather than demand blind obedience from public and private shaming.  Death by lecture is a parent trap that mames the parent or authority. Authoritative tenderness is the answer. Inform to reform. Stand and be the argument rather than argue endlessly into infinity with duplicity of empty words.

Strong-arm tactics by shaming show the lack of persuasive power. Persuasion leads a person to hear a voice other than the voice of the persuader. Spirit awakening by rediscovering the voice-spirit in another is what I call voice recognition that actives heart touch.

A heart touched rather than lectured is a treasure indeed.

Embedded

How often we complain and argue about things that are near unchangeable. These are things embedded in our culture, the culture of our church, or institutions where we work. Even family traditions could be added to the list. Try to change them and you'll face the same challenge you face when trying to change something about yourself. It's hard to change something alone. We have all heard someone say "You've made you bed, now lie in it". Unfortunately, the bed often feels too short to be able to rest. Isaiah 28:20

My anxiety over the necessary change to survive, the guilt from not reaching my potential, and the anxiety of learning new ways to think and behave are the underlying issues.

It's impossible to handle and to heal from these issues without the help of others because the process of unlearning my old ways creates even more anxiety.

Unlearning isn't done by imitation of others. When they are out of the picture I'll just revert to my former ways and be on my own again. Judges 2:18,19

Inviting others in to help redefine my way of thinking according to my own personality and relationships through trial and error leads me to transformational change. 2 Corinthians 3:16-18

I learn to reach out in order to hold out through awareness rather than fairness. Philippians 2:14-18

Grief

When we get mad or frustrated and these emotions don't lead us to grieving what happened, the transforming power that is given to us is forfeited. To grieve is to be a loved one or the least of these and the capacity to receive is reopened.

Commitment

The thrill of freedom. Freedom allows commitment and commitment is an exercise of the will.

Wisdom

Often first found in what is being overlooked.

Give Me Space

This is a line I often hear in conflict, yet it barely scratches the surface of the feeling "behind the lines" so to speak.  More times than not it reveals a need for a concrete answer to a concrete question that gives the space for two people to live in intimacy as one couple sharing their various differences and preferences in order to be seen and known.

Legal Alienation

It takes a free man or woman to usher another into freedom. Psalm 118:5  Taking others seriously by serving them before taking their spoken words literally is how we strengthen and sing them into this freedom. Psalm 142:7

Over time serving them allows the freedom to move away from their refuge of words into the refuge of friendship through fellowship. 2 Corinthians 7:13-16

We hold them through listening rather than holding them to an accountability of only what is said.  This intimacy brings meaning as a person rather than a problem. Amos 8:4

They begin to taste and see who they really are rather than a meaningless shadow using words to hide behind.

Learn to freely listen through compassion and comfort first received, then given. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7